Seminary Life Series -- Journal 1: To Live Or Die

(Reproduced from an earlier blog entry written on October 11, 2005)

I don't know about you, but at various points in my life I've found myself reflecting on this question, "Would I be willing to die for Christ?"

Today in chapel the speaker made a very intriguing point about this when he spoke on "offering our bodies as living sacrifices" in Roman 12:1-2. He said people often ask themselves (or others) if they would be willing to die for Christ. But a more profound and pertinent question to ask, in fact, is whether we would be willing to LIVE for Christ. When I first heard it, I felt it to be a bit counter-intuitive and I caught myself thinking, "Of course I would rather live than die!" But on second thought I realized the answer to that question wasn't as straightforward as I had imagined.

Certainly the notion of "dying" is frightening, but there are times when I feel so down and frustrated with things, people, or/and myself that I REALLY would rather die than live. Out of a sense of bitter devastation, I would think about asking God to simply take me away from this world so that I won't have to see and experience all the hurts and conflicts and pain that have been going on. I would imagine that if there were an occasion where I could sacrifice myself and die for Christ, I would jump at that opportunity and "get it over with", once and for all. What makes me stop this kind of negative, almost eerie thinking is the always inevitable question I must confront if I were to die at all: "Would I not feel shameful when I see Jesus?" And of course, the answer is certainly going to be "I'm pretty sure I would." That's why dying for Christ never really seems to be a viable option to me.

Yet living for Christ seems an even more daunting challenge. While to die for Christ -- on the right occasion -- could be accomplished on the spur of the moment, in a burst of courage, to live for Christ demands a life-long commitment that takes far more than just impulsive valour. It demands determination, perseverance, and discipline, among many other things. Most importantly perhaps, it demands that we deny ourselves -- our inclination to please ourselves or others rather than the Lord. When you think about it seriously, it isn't really that much easier than DYING for Christ.

But the speaker put everything in perspective with a very neat remark, "If you're not willing to live for Christ, there's no point in your dying for Christ, because your death wouldn't mean much to Christ anyway." And that's just so true. If we're not following Christ when we're alive, why even think about dying for Him?